Tired of all that Super Bowl talk (we were sure to include the phrase “Super Bowl” and “The Big Game” in this post so as to stir up page clicks)? Good! ratpag has something completely not Super Bowl or The Big Game related from our New Jersey correspondent: pizza slicing.
As you may have noticed, your New Jersey correspondent enjoys fine food. He promoted spaghetti and hot pockets on this very site. He has reported on Amtrak’s food service, and suggested restaurants in North Jersey.
Therefore, you can imagine the horror when he read about a restaurant in Brooklyn where the pizza “[arrives] in an intact circle.” And, the server asks, “How many slices would you like?” and proceeds to cut the pizza right there at the table.
First, the answer is eight slices. But, given that we’re considerate, thoughtful people, we’ll consider other answers.
1. Don’t slice the pizza at all.
Apparently, in Italy, the pizza isn’t sliced. And I encourage all of you to visit Italy! But, this restaurant is in Brooklyn. From time to time your author has left NJ, crossed the Hudson and East Rivers, and gone to Brooklyn. (or crossed the Arthur Kill and The Narrows). Brooklyn is trendy! Your author enjoys Brooklyn themed beverages with his pizza.
Brooklyn is so trendy that apparently every other news source carefully analyzes a TV show focused on it. Your author hasn’t seen the TV show, but does have some thoughts on the Borough. First, given that you follow ratpag, you probably aren’t driving to Brooklyn. But, if you do drive, beware of the BQE. It may be the worst Interstate highway in America. The best way to get to Brooklyn is to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge. While you’re walking over the bridge, you can look at the traffic on the BQE and at the Brooklyn Promenade, which is a pretty impressive multi-level cantilevered section of the BQE and a public walkway that opened in 1954. Walking over the Bridge may also inspire you to read David McCullough’s classic, The Great Bridge.
If you can’t walk over the bridge, you can take the Subway to Brooklyn. We haven’t identified any subway riding dogs in NYC yet, however, a dog was recently found on Randall’s Island after being missing for five months! Randall’s Island isn’t accessible by subway though, so we doubt he took the train there.
If you take the subway to Brooklyn, it can become contentious. Recent contention has centered around how should you position your legs while you’re sitting on the train and is it acceptable to eat on the subway. Your author is not going to tell you how to sit or where to eat, but if you see someone taking your picture, some other blog might write about you.
2. Slice the pizza in half.
This doesn’t make any sense! But, a lot of things in the world of rail-and-transit don’t make any sense. Why would they build a brand new train station without bathrooms? Why is the ticket for driving with an un-registered car less than the ticket if the un-registered car is parked at the mall? Why would someone with kidnapped passengers hidden in his car use the HOV lane? And, this one’s not rail-and-transit, but: how did a couple lock themselves in a closet without a lock on the door?
3. Slice the pizza into an odd number of slices.
This would be difficult for the server because he or she couldn’t cut directly across the pie. Sometimes rail-and-transit is difficult: It might trap you on an airplane. It might randomly stop running. Maybe the transportation system doesn’t adequately alert you to free coffee.
4. Cut the pizza into 1,000 pieces.
This would be extremely difficult for the server. We’re not sure if there’s a limit to the number of slices, but if there isn’t, this could be fun for everyone at the table. You and your friends could re-assemble the pizza, similar to your author assembling a jigsaw puzzle.