That’s our way of saying “rerun”. ratpag has always been inspired by David Letterman and, though we’d like to avoid the heart-bypass surgery and shingles episode of some time ago, we’d like to follow in his footsteps in some way. ratpag, being what it is, has few options other than taking a smattering of summer Fridays off with the same Tired Ass Syndrome (T.A.S.) that afflicted Dave over a decade ago.
This week’s installment comes to us from March 28, 2014 as we opened our mail bag for the first time. Such outpouring of support kept ratpag going during some of its darkest days (particularly after the lashing we received from NAARP just days before) and so we thank you, our loyal fans, for your continued support and unsolicited money offers.
It’s the end of the week and we here at ratpag are simply too unfocused and out of ideas to scour the internet for rail and transit related news so, instead, we thought it might be fun to open our mail bag. What’s this? You didn’t know we had a mail bag? Do you want to be added to our Shit List too?
Our first letter comes to us from Neil in Rochester, NY, and he writes:
Big fan – I love the work you guys are doing. Is there any way I can send you money to keep the steady flow of rail and transit related news coming? I’d hate for there ever to be a day when ratpag was no more.
First, we want to say thank you, Neil, for your continued support. Unfortunately, ratpag has not yet devised a way to bring money in – we’re exceptionally versed at sending it out – and so we’ll just continue doing it for free. We have some schemes of varying levels of legality in the works – most involving only spending money – so we’ll see what happens down the road. For now, how about this freebie, Neil, as it relates to your hometown: the sad but interesting remains of a subway system that once was.
Our next letter comes to us from Rościsława of Szczecin, Poland, and she writes:
Can you please have more updates on the Central Indiana transit legislation? The articles that I have read about it make no sense and I was hoping you could explain it more clearly and precisely, as you always do. If I had money to give I would give all of it to ratpag for the great work that you do.
Rościsława, we truly thank you for your support – and from so far away! And, please, keep your złotys – we’re sure you’ll put them to much better use than us! We admit, we have grown a bit weary of the Central Indiana story because we are impatient and frustrated with its lack of progress. We check today to see that Indiana Governor Mike Pence has just “signed a bill to allow Central Indiana voters to decide on expanding mass transit.” So that’s good, we guess. What’s bad is that he only signed it after “improvements” were made to the bill, such as “the removal of light rail.” That’s not great. Maybe next week we’ll add Central Indiana, or Mike Pence, or maybe just the entire state of Indiana to our Shit List. We’re not sure if we’ll still care.
And finally, our last letter comes to us from Suzy of Queens, NY, and she writes:
deer ratpag, I am 6 years old and I ride the subwy. It is fun do you ride the subway? I ride the 7 trane to gran Central and yester day I saw a rat and it made me think of ratpag. Mommy says that if I save up my allowance maybe I can giv some to ratpag. ok? Daddy says he hates the subway and thinks ratpag is stupid so thats why i wanto help.
Suzy I live in Queens
What an adorable letter. You were right not to listen to your father, Suzy. We think, instead of giving your allowance to us, that you should save up and buy your daddy the biggest Metrocard that you can buy so that you and him can ride the subway all over the city whenever you want. Wouldn’t that be nice! Thank you for your support, Suzy, and the next time you see a rat in a station – give him a little pat on the head for us.
Happy weekend, everybody! And don’t forget, if you’d like to write ratpag a letter, you can reach us at email@example.com or our twitter @ratpag1.