While we suspect the following story was only produced so as to take advantage of ratpag’s policy on “producing at least one article every ninety (90) days” to receive health benefits, our DC correspondent finally decided to wake up and do some work, for once, and has filed the following report:
After getting beaten up a little this week by ratpag editors on a recent trip to NYC for “not producing” and “being lazy” [Editor’s note: Also add “abusing company vacation policy”] (something that ratpag would typically condone given, well, our lifestyles), your DC correspondent is back to bitch about the DC Metro.
According to my sources, Metro staff members are handing out “SV” (that’s cool Metro slang for silver) goodie bags to visitors arriving at the Metro platform at the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport stop to promote the opening of the new line. What better place and crowd to promote the opening of a metro line not yet open than one filled with tourists along a line that will not be included in Silver Line expansion? When asked when this line was to open the response given by Metro staff was “any day now.”
In fact, local news outlets are reporting that “any day now” Metro officials “hope” to be able to announce an opening date. Again. Originally slated to open in December 2013, that month magically came and went without a peep of a new opening date. This mirrors the fate of the DC Streetcar that was also supposed to open in December 2013, which still has no rescheduled opening date. Maybe Metro officials should start running SV line trains now that terminate at East Falls Church with a “free shuttle” to the new stops! Why not: it is the inevitable fate that will soon befall the Silver Line and is how Metro operates every other line now (at least on weekends – excluding Cherry Blossom weekends).
At this rate, the DDOT Move DC long-range transportation plan featured in last week’s Link Dump may as well be called a 200-year transportation plan since it features a new Metro line and 22 new miles of streetcars. Oh yes – and congestion pricing.
One last fun thing about the “SV” promotional materials was a handy brochure featuring the poor, poor blue line, i.e. “BL”. Yes, “BL” riders, as this brochure so helpfully points out in this graphic – SV is going to make your commute suck and suck so badly that it may actually be faster to take a train that doesn’t go to your destination and transfer to take a train back to your destination from a different direction as so helpfully illustrated in this handy dandy graphic:
[Ed’s note: While it may seem that our DC correspondent has nothing but disdain and hatred for Metro, we assure you that that is not true.]