ratpag held yet another big meeting yesterday to discuss future strategies and, mostly, to disproportionately celebrate victories that we may or may not have had an influential hand in. Attendance was low, presumably due to the surprise nature of the meeting held in the middle of a “work day”, and so we’d like to share the minutes with those who could not attend.
Thursday, April 10, 2014 – Rail and Transit Progress Advocacy Group Organizational Meeting
3:41 p.m. – Call to order. [NAME REDACTED] is present. [NAME REDACTED] is also present. The meeting shall begin.
3:41 p.m. – [NAME REDACTED] requests that we celebrate our many victories with a toast. [NAME REDACTED] agrees.
3:42 p.m. – [NAME REDACTED] asks for another toast to honor [NAME REDACTED], who earned his doctorate one day before. [NAME REDACTED] seems to have sensed this second toast; having already begun consuming his second full glass.
3:44 p.m. – Discussion of the revelation of our dear leader commences. The conclusion is: “We’ll get to it.” A toast in honor of dear leader is performed without prior discussion.
3: 47 p.m. – Future topics are discussed, including:
- Opening the ratpag mail bag
- Elon Musk
- Rat pics
- Hyperloop ([NAME REDACTED] angrily slammed his glass at the commencement of this topic, spilling some of its contents. [NAME REDACTED] reacted by demanding that [NAME REDACTED] drink what he so carelessly allowed to touch the floor.)
- The repetitiveness of ratpag’s topics of discussion
- Central Indiana transit
3:52 p.m. – The discussion turned to polls. [NAME REDACTED] expressed concern that ratpag had not featured enough polls to date. [NAME REDACTED] questioned whether the public wanted more polls. [NAME REDACTED] attempted to fire [NAME REDACTED]. [NAME REDACTED] argued that he could not be fired, which [NAME REDACTED] agreed to be true. A toast was performed without prior discussion.
4:22 p.m. – Lengthy, heated discussions concluded with the creation of the following poll, which both members agreed should be included in the meeting’s minutes:
4:37 p.m. – Discussion commenced regarding ground-breaking technology that ratpag wishes to pursue. Both members agree that these discussions should not be included in the minutes.
4:38 p.m. – A toast. Both members are visibly intoxicated.
4:52 p.m. – [NAME REDACTED] leaves to use the restroom. [NAME REDACTED] remains in the meeting space. [NAME REDACTED] induces vomiting into a sink before finishing [NAME REDACTED]’s unattended glass.
4:55 p.m. – [NAME REDACTED] returns from restroom and notices his empty glass. [NAME REDACTED] demands restitution for his missing drink. [NAME REDACTED] denies involvement. [NAME REDACTED] reverses and accepts involvement.
4:58 p.m. – Meeting adjourned.
I think we can all agree that there is plenty to look forward to in ratpag’s future!